11:02pm - April 05, 2007
A humanity lost, a vile race that rapes and takes the last fruit of a wilting goddess...
If I could have somehow known this morning how this day would turn out, I would have NEVER gotten out of bed...
I had a prenatal appointment today which quickly turned into a Fucked Up situation. See, today was scheduled to be my first time meeting the elusive Dr. Michener. (Every other time at the clinic I saw the nurse practitioner, Marie.)
My first impression of him: He bursts into the room (completely ignoring me)and starts bitching to the nurse who was checking my blood pressure about how slow the girls at the front desk were. This was the first sign of unprofessionalism. The nurse leaves. He re-enters the room and opens my chart with his back to me and grumbles "I'm Dr. Michener". No handshake. No smile. Um, he couldn't even manage to look at me while introducing himself??? After that he told me he was going to use the Doppler to find the baby's heartbeat and so I shimmied down my pants a little and pulled up my top to expose my belly. He came over to the table and without warning yanked my pants down even futher. I was startled but I dismissed it. He found the heartbeat and after two seconds he said "OK well we'll see you in 3 weeks."
And I said "You arent going to check my bump?"
And he goes "What bump?" and rolled his eyes. And I explained to him that the whole reason I made the appt with him was because the nurse wanted him to look at the hard bump in my lower belly. (She had thought I had a lymph node infection, I consequently got an emergency ultrasound and have been on antibiotics for a week.) Did he even look at my chart??? He felt the spot on my belly and after about two seconds he said "Well I don't exactly know what it is but don't worry about it." And he gets ready to send me on my way again.
I stopped him and said, "Well do you mind if I ask you a couple questions?" I had prepared a short list of questions, thinking I was being a responsible mother-to-be and that he would be pleased that I was so prepared. Quite the opposite. He became very arrogant and rude. I asked him if they routinely did episiotomies and he said very bluntly..."No cuz then I'd have to stitch everyone back up!" For anybody who doesn't know, an episiotomy is where they cut your perineum to widen the vaginal opening for delivery. You would think he would have a little more tact when discussing something like this with me. Right?
After this, I asked him when I could find out if it is a girl or a boy. His blantantly arrogant answer:
"October 5th!" (my due date) In every word he spoke his tone became more and more abrasive.
me: No, I think I can find out before that.
him: Well why would you want to do that???
me: Um...because it's my decision?
him: Everybody's in such a rush to find out the sex of the baby! It's ruins all the excitement of the birth!
me: Well that's your opinion and I think it's still my decision.
By this time I was in shock. I couldnt believe I was being treated like this. Ans it gets WORSE!!! I asked him about a birthing plan and he said that I shouldnt even bother because nobody will pay attention to it anyway.
I started to cry as I left the room. I guess he thinks that I have no rights because I am going to the "free clinic" (and more importantly he isnt making alot of money off me) so he assumes he can treat me however the fuck he pleases. I cried all day over this and besides write a letter to his supervisor, I don't know what else to do. I feel so helpless...I hate being treated like a number and herded in and out of that place like fucking cattle.
The most fucked up thing is the truth: I have no choice but to go there. This clinic is the only place in my area that accepts medicaid and I don't have enough money to go someplace that will treat me like a human being. So until this country ever gets socialized health care, I can resign myself to the fact that if your poor, you just
don't fucking matter. Your just another nameless fuck to build their boats and die in their wars.
Sorry about the long post but I really had to get this out. If anybody wants to drop me a note on here I could really use some kind words. You can also email me at [email protected]. Thanks for reading. Good night. Love, Cassandra
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